"I'm here on earth as a faithful usual
like a greyhound statue licking wet
as the shadow that goes in the calling relatives,
as innocent gesture of scarecrows
the damp wind "
Vicente Gerbasi
deck is one of those words that people used before. Exclaimed my grandfather to shuffle a tremendous disappointment calentera or to fill you with wonder or sorrow. Shuffle tell me now, sitting somewhere in this room, when I see Dolorita, my wife sleeping naked. I watch carefully, did not know how long that looked not asleep or awake. His torso flaccid, it seems like these jellyfish gelatinous than the sea, with disgust, vomit on the shore of the beach and there are cracking under the sun, exiled in the sand without any comfort or relief, to stop beating and go.
had long since stopped trying to caress the skin looked like when I open a passion fruit with my hands and mouth watering. Over the years the folds of her wrinkles were messing me in my hands while I shrank the soul. It was very well that her womb was closed, or maybe she was leaving closing in on me. These things that happen over time is that there was a time when meat was hard Dolorita silky, that I remember it well but my eyes could hardly enjoy it, and sanctimonious, I say.
As I thought this made vain attempts to join, I felt the increasingly heavy body. I answered no legs or hands. This rigidity, that inactivity for some time that had been suffering. Stiffness also the mind and feeling tired or do not desire, not to continue life.
I felt that I was slowly becoming, leaving it to be somebody. Where was gone to stop my time, I did. Every hour, every second is reduced to the same thing at the same location, the room, only memories. Could not quite understand, for example, why not and made plans for the future, preferring to stay there as if rooted, looking at my wife, who now seemed to awaken. I, a vital man, full of projects, I suddenly saw myself as being inert, dull, without a will.
Dolorita watched a cigarette as he did every morning and I realized that I missed seeing her smoke and it caused me no discomfort before, by just showing which will then be closer to kiss me. Dolorita not kissed me, stared at me from top to bottom, carefully but indifferent. As if I consider, as if I were a specimen rare and not the man who had lived for twenty long years.
this might seem a contradiction but I will say the absence is a bitter look, bleak when she decides between two bodies coming together looking for love, for I am convinced that this absence, his long face and black lips and ice cream also had a few, random moans of pleasure that I having started to Dolorita.
Gradually, my memory was reduced to just that room images . Dolorita waking, sleeping, coming from who knows where, any place that I no longer visited and I escaped the memories. Dolorita winding undressing, as if 20 years back. touching, looking between mocking and satisfied, what was causing this sudden change, I wondered. Every day, at the same time with tedious punctuality, Dolorita over me, massaging my thighs, abdomen, chest. Sinking his fingers into my eyes like two empty bowls. He seemed to sculpt new shape at will, weaving and unraveling maybe my arteries, I say, again to turn the flow of blood. Dolorita under the skin picking her, maybe trying to find behind it, another image to give him more satisfaction. The rest of the time I was there, more and more quiet. With nothing to give, say or feel.
Dolorita One day he left me alone. That day I could finally get out of this confinement. I knew that was not the same and although efforts should be made to think or analyze, was fully aware that my health had deteriorated. Still I enjoyed myself in a corner of my living room, staring at my pictures, my books, so my belongings as a result of a compilation where affection was the cause. There was some flowers on tables, bronze beyond my memory is exhibited in other, and strangers came little by little, the caressing, shopping or just watching. Some ventured to remark with listless curiosity, as if I were part of the furniture, "a sculpture?. I felt
Tequila, our dog, licking the heel. Demon dog goes, I wanted to scream when I saw a lady, elegantly dressed, standing next to me in the company of Dolorita, felt my face, I feel his hands. That said I like staring into his eyes. This is not for sale "my wife, apoyámdose on my shoulder, while hid, by deceit, a drop of blood that Tequila licking my foot.
Elena López Meneses
